Outside the Razor Wire w/ Pork DAWG

“It is better to be alone than in bad company.”
— George Washington

Hello, wonderful people. Hope your week’s been solid.

Today’s question:
As an inmate, what’s the dumbest or most ridiculous thing you ever saw someone doing time for?

Let me tell you about this middle-aged dude out of some dusty West Texas town—fresh off the bus, wide-eyed, and yapping like he was getting paid by the word.

This fella had a record. First DWI? Slap on the wrist. Probation. Nothing major. But the judge gave him a real courtroom drama line:

“DO NOT ever let me see you in my courtroom again for drinking and driving.”

Fast-forward a couple years. Our man’s at a bar. Drinks. Drives. Boom—red and blues in the rearview.

And what does he do? Pull over and take the L? Nope.

Instead, he shoots at the cops.
Grand Theft Auto logic.

That little voice in his head wasn’t reason—it was the judge’s voice echoing like a haunted prophecy:

“DO NOT EVER LET ME SEE YOU IN MY COURTROOM AGAIN…”

Well, now he got what he asked for—a 50-year vacation with the Texas Department of Corrections.

In Texas, it might take three or four DWIs to land you in prison. But one shot at a cop? That’ll do it.

And the saddest part? That “haunting” judge line? They use that everywhere—from Dallas to Detroit, Amarillo to Anchorage. He thought it was fate. It was just boilerplate.

Just another day in the penitentiary.

— PORK DAWG

P.S.
Still, the dumbest thing I ever heard inside? Some kid looked at me and asked:

“Hey Pork Dawg, if I put two stamps on this letter, will it get to my house faster?”

I kept it together long enough to say:
“Hell yes. And if it doesn’t, it damn sure should have.”